Writing Demystified: Show, Don’t Tell
We’ve all heard it: “Show, don’t tell.” From creative writing teachers to fellow writers, people seem to think this is the be-all and end-all of writing advice. But what does it actually mean? And is it good advice?
At its core, “show, don’t tell” asks writers to use sensory details and poetic language to enhance the reading experience. While rooted in well-meaning intentions and an accurate understanding of crafting a narrative, “show, don’t tell” often leaves writers with no practical advice to improve their writing. Plus, showing is not the best tool for every situation. Sometimes we need to be told rather than shown.
Let’s look at an example. Say you have a character who wants to get milk out of the fridge, and you write the following sentence: “She reached for the milk.” This is an acceptable way to depict this moment. We don’t need to be shown how she reaches for the milk, which hand she uses, or how the milk jug feels in her hand. We just need to know she grabbed the milk.
On the other hand, there are moments the reader should be shown. Say you have another character who just lost her job and got evicted, and you write this: “She was upset because she was jobless and didn’t have a place to live anymore.” This is a moment we need to see to better understand how the character is handling this situation.
Practical Usage of Show and Tell
Context and nuance are the keys to mastering “show, don’t tell.” Showing too much bogs down the narrative and leaves readers wondering when the action will happen. Showing too little leads to uninteresting prose and bored readers. A solid combination of showing and telling yields the best results.
“Creating an atmosphere: If you are describing setting or characters, or enhancing the overall tone and mood of the story, you should show the parts that add emotional context and tell the parts the reader doesn’t need to spend too much time on. ”
Example: The little girl held a basket of freshly cut flowers. She skipped through her family’s wheat fields, eager to bring her mother a flower. However, a storm brewed behind her. Dark clouds crept across the sky as the little girl continued onward, unaware of the darkness following her.
Now here’s that same passage with too much showing:
The little girl held a basket of freshly cut flowers in her right hand and an individual daisy in her left. She skipped through her family’s wheat fields in her homely dress and bare feet, eager to bring her mother a flower from her basket. However, a storm brewed behind her. Dark, broody clouds crept across the sky as the little girl continued onward, unaware of the darkness following her. She held the basket close to her as she thought of how excited her mother would be to receive a flower, and the clouds grew darker and darker.
And now with too little:
The little girl held a basket with flowers. She walked through the field and wanted to give her mother a flower. Storm clouds appeared behind her, and they followed her all the way home.
Notice the differences between the first and last examples. In the first example, even the telling moments (the girl holding the flower basket, and the storm appearing behind her) are done in a way that engages the reader and puts them in the moment with the little girl. In the final example, we get just the facts. We don’t know much about the internal life of the little girl, or much about the setting in which she finds herself.
“Using dialogue: Another way to effectively combine showing and telling is through dialogue. Show who your character is by letting them speak, and tell the reader information that allows them to understand conversation.”
Example:
“Mother, I brought you a daisy from beyond the field,” the little girl said.
Her mother took the flower. “Child, tell me. Did you pick this flower from the garden next to the creek?”
“Yes, Mother. There was a beautiful garden and a cottage. I knocked on the door, but no one was home. It looked abandoned.”
“Dear girl, you are foolish. These flowers are from the garden of the Witch of the Wood.” She rushed to the window. “She knows. She sent a storm after you. We must take cover!”
Here is the same conversation with too much showing:
“Mother, I brought you a daisy from beyond the field,” the little girl said, holding out the flower for her mother to take, her eyes gleaming with childhood innocence.
Her mother took the flower, her face a ghostly white. “Child, tell me. Did you take this flower from the garden next to the creek?”
“Yes, Mother. There was a beautiful garden and a cottage. I knocked on the door, but no one was home. It looked abandoned.” The little girl continued to stare at her mother with childish wonder.
“Dear girl, you are foolish. These flowers are from the garden of the Witch of the Wood.” She rushed to the window and opened the curtain. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. “She knows. She sent a storm after you. We must take cover!”
And too little:
“Mother, I brought you a flower,” the little girl said.
“Did you take this flower from a garden?” the mother responded.
“Yes, Mother. There was a beautiful garden and a cottage.”
“These flowers are from the garden of the Witch of the Wood. She sent a storm after you.”
The first example works better than the second and third because it reveals pivotal plot points through the characters and gives the reader context for their surroundings. With too much context, the reader feels like their hand is being held through the scene. With too little, it’s hard to grasp the action.
It’s All About Balance
Use both showing and telling to create a rich reading experience while maintaining forward momentum. It is undeniably hard to toe the line between too much showing and too much telling, but with practice it becomes second nature. Both showing and telling have their merits, and certain types of writing may mean skewing one over the other. Technical documentation, for example, needs to have more telling. Fiction, though, generally contains more showing. Consider your genre when applying any writing tips or tricks.
